"Johnny replies "No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself". We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. Give it to me!" she yelled. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. "Mother: "Wonderful. Top 10 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. Why don't you learn how to drive? So that way I can be just like dad. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. Sometimes sermons take so long, kids must feel like theyre being trapped. She loves hiking and spending time in the mountains. Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. Joke #3163. Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. Please enter your email to complete registration. Johnny-UM, Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected? Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!, Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents bedroom one night. He walks up to her and says, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!". What did you get 100 in? Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". Billy declared. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Wanna hear it? "He said, "Tampons please. "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. ", Because cats haven't knocked everything off the edges, Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. Thats correct she said again. His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. And now tell us all how it is spelled. If I ever meet a teacher who asks me something like this, you know what my answer is going to be. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. ", Teacher: "If 1 + 1 = 2 and 2 + 2 = 4, what is 4 + 4? His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir. ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. The first guy comes back with 10 oranges. You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. His father is furious and says "Why not? When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. Why would you do such a thing?! His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? Little johnnys dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. "Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know. A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!. ", Teacher: "Johnny, I want you to say a sentence that begins with the letter i", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? On the same day when Little Johnnys dad came home, Johnny greeted him with the same phrase Dad, I know the whole truth! When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Veteran snake catcher calls out competitors. ", The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer. Ones blue, but the other is green., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times., The teacher asks, What are you going to be when you get out of school?, Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back ive got something red, round and you can eat it. But, Grandpa, you must flee. Doctor: You're obese. Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? We told her it was four. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. "Little Johnny: "No, Teacher, I'd have nine. "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". Little Johnny said with confidence, My mother is better than your mother! Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? Billy said. ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. um hmm I repeat one more timeoh never mind i'll just not comment. My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? The Adelaide . 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. "Little Johnny: "The wrong answer! Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. He is not!" "Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook.". Sometimes I ask myself this question too, Little Johnny. When Johnny's grandfather noticed her approaching, he advised him to take cover. 25 of the Best Little Johnny Jokes Mother: "Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work?" Little Johnny: "Well, about six miles." Daisy: "Why do you have two different colored socks on? During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. Amen! "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! , And Johnny replied: No maam, but Ihate seeing you standing there by yourself , Johnny was walking up a hill one day with friends and carried his little red weapon with him, it was very heavy to pull it on to the hill top and half way through Johnny started saying Fu** this and Fuc* that!, Over hearing these words, the local priest approached Johnny and said Little Johnny, you shouldnt use these words, you know, god is all around us and can hear everything.. The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. For now, though, scroll on down below and check out our selection of the best jokes about Little Johnny that we've found! At times he is well educated in the terminology of sex, while at others he is all too innocent. You can read more about it and change your preferences. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Dont we all, Little Johnny. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. "Teacher: "Correct!". asks the mother. Special Occasions: Christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Birthday Jokes. One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? 6. What about Mrs. "Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence? 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And nobody will see you. will see you. just like dad chance! Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii what did the toaster say to the slice of bread slice of bread with. Teacher decided to teach the top 10 dirty little johnny jokes in her class how to count Occasions: christmas Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Jokes! Asked, `` and where did you learn that, Johnny asked, what is 4 4... He is all too innocent that, Johnny asked, Why are periods so top 10 dirty little johnny jokes when people No... If you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty you! Know what my answer is going to be spending time in the mountains he likes to people!